2020 Falling off A Mountain – Literally

When I imagine 2020 I see a downward spiral, a tumultuous tornado. It seems that no matter what your life situation is at least one event this year whether it be the violence, pandemic or election has caused you sadness pain, anger and grief. It feels like we’re literally tumbling off a peak wondering when we’ll hit the bottom.

Or maybe that’s just me, except I actually fell off a mountain.

The situation sounds more dramatic than it actually was. I was about 40 feet from the summit of Handies and we were on our way down through switchbacks of scree. My trekking pole slipped and I dove headfirst sliding down the mountain. I tried to stop by flipping on my back, but kept going. Eventually I used my trekking pole to dig into the scree and stop myself. My only wounds were lots of tears on my clothes and although I had gloves on, I still have scars on my hands. I think the most frightening part was my husband having to watch me fall and not be able to stop myself.

After we got down I was all smiles, showing off my hands to my husband, and amazed that my Patagonia saved all the skin on my elbows. No harm, no foul. And I knew that where I slipped I wasn’t going to die… but of course sliding down a mountain isn’t ideal either. I’m grateful I wasn’t more hurt.

Flash forward to today. It’s fall. 2020 hasn’t gotten that much better. But for my personal life situation I feel as if I can’t find my trekking pole to dig in and stop the fall. Two years ago I made the commitment to change careers and get a Masters Degree so that I could work in cardiac rehab. My graduation got postponed from May to August, but I got to finish my internship and graduate Summa Cum Laude. The hospital I interned at wanted to hire me, except, they’re on a hiring freeze.

It seems as if most hospitals are on a hiring freeze.

It’s been a month. 17 applications out. 9 rejections, no interviews lined up. Isn’t it curious how in the moment, hikes, runs backpacking, summits we can laugh about our misfortune and trials and tribulations, but in our personal life we seem stuck in a storm cloud of feeling like we’re falling off a mountain and that we’re starting from rock bottom.

I can laugh about scarring up my hands and falling 10 vertical feet off a mountain, but I can’t find any giggles in my current career/job outlook.

I think it’s easy to use the outdoors as an escape from our real lives when in fact they should parallel them more than anything. What we find in ourselves on the mountain should shine in our day to day lives.

I’ll let you know what allows me to finally dig my trekking pole in. To be ok with my current misfortune and find the confidence to reach a summit once again.

Sending you positive vibes ❤ Rey